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Contracting issues got you down? Use this handy example to save time and trouble!

Example Contract

This is an agreement made as of ____ day of ____________, 19_____, between the party of the first part, __________________(HITMAN) and the party of the second part, _____________ (INNOCENT PARTY). INNOCENT PARTY intends to secure the services of HITMAN for termination of the life of one __________ (VICTIM). HITMAN and INNOCENT PARTY in consideration of their mutual covenants herein agree to respect of the performance of professional elimination services by HITMAN and the payment for those services by INNOCENT PARTY as set forth below.

It is important to use legalese early in the document so everyone knows it is a legal document.  

Work: HITMAN shall complete all Work as specified herein. HITMAN shall render VICTIM dead or equivalent with 30 days of oral notice to proceed. Method of delivery is to be selected by HITMAN, and shall be discreet, effective, and in compliance with typical industry standards. Dead shall be defined as the complete cessation of all bodily functions on a permanent basis. HITMAN is to provide all tools, supplies, writs, vehicles, fuel, equipment, expertise, labor, explosives, and information necessary for completion of Work.

Clear performance standards prevent misunderstandings.  

Payment: INNOCENT PARTY shall deliver a lump-sum payment of $______ to HITMAN within 24 hours of completion of Work. Payment shall be made in small, unmarked bills, placed in a leather briefcase. Payment shall be made at 1:45 a.m. at _______________________. Both INNOCENT PARTY and HITMAN will arrive at the place of payment alone. If INNOCENT PARTY fails to make payment on a timely basis, HITMAN reserves the right to break his choice of INNOCENT PARTY'S bones.

Method and schedule of payment should be plainly stated.

Penalties for late payments may be stipulated. 		 
Responsibilities: HITMAN shall maintain sufficient insurance on personnel and equipment to cover any and all losses associated with performance of said Work. HITMAN shall hold harmless INNOCENT PARTY, and his heirs, estate, business, neighbors, friends, relatives, and associates against any claims, legal or civil, fines, fees, charges, lawsuits, arrest warrants, or retaliatory actions arising from the performance of Work, or any errors and omissions associated therewith. INNOCENT PARTY shall provide HITMAN with photographs and identifying characteristics of VICTIM. INNOCENT PARTY promises not slander, liable, or testify against HITMAN under any circumstances. A hold-harmless clause can protect you from the unexpected.

Duties of each party should be spelled out. 		 

Changed Conditions: No consideration for force majure shall be made. No payment shall be made to HITMAN if VICTIM dies of unrelated causes during the effective period of this Contract.

 Agree in advance on handling of changed conditions. Anticipate the unexpected.  

Contract Documents: Preparation of Contract Documents is prohibited.

   

IN WITNESS WHEREOF, HITMAN and INNOCENT PARTY have signed this Agreement in duplicate. One counterpart each has been delivered to HITMAN and INNOCENT PARTY. Documents shall be burned immediately upon delivery.

 
INNOCENT PARTY _____________                HITMAN __________________ 

____________________________                 ________________________
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